Ninja to the ground and beat his face bloody. I figured he would throw his MMA opponent 20 feet into the air, then teleport up to deliver a spinning piledriver. I learned the awful truth firsthand while watching one of the early Ultimate Fighting events, back when it was still a mix of contrasting combat styles, and not a bunch of buff guys grappling in their underwear. Did ninjas invade Grenada, go 15-1 under Mike Ditka, beat down Ivan Drago? Uh-uh. When cops rescue hostages, do they send in ninjas? No. They're pretty much worthless, as useful as nunchucks in a gunfight. In real life, ninjas aren't bad dudes at all. Who was? He was kidnaped BY FREAKING NINJAS. In Data East's 'Bad Dudes,' ninjas kidnapped Ronald Reagan.Īnd no: I wasn't a bad enough dude to rescue the president. The NES classic 'Baseball Stars' featured the Ninja BlackSox, a speedy, all-ninja-all-the-time ballclub.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles became a national phenomenon. Michael Dudikoff, American Ninja, cut a swath of destruction on the silver screen. Magical and powerful and wraithlike, commanding - no, demanding - fear and respect. They were fast, mysterious, stealthy, deadly. And who, pray tell, were the ultimate icons of pop culture badassedry in the decade that brought us the McDLT and New Coke? He's 29 years old, which makes him my contemporary. And don't get me wrong: I understand where Dempster is coming from. You know, like the mutant turtles in the comic books. A 'chuck-spinning, throwing-star-hurling, silent-footsteps-sneakin' According to the Arizona Daily Star, Cubs closer Ryan Dempster claims he's training to become a ninja.

Why do video games says pray tell